Diary of a Wimpy OLD kid !

so.. Firstly I actually like Reading diary of a wimpy kid.. it actually talks about the real things that we as kids went through...
well.. kid not anymore.. but an old kid yeah!!  I have always been confined to this bubble of mine where everything is easy.. you just call mommy or daddy for anything you need and voila the next day its there ( i'am not talking expensive things!) you want to go out? sure kid take the car the driver is there tell him exactly where you need to go..
so mostly its just been college -home-back to college!
Come INTERNSHIP ! .. a little flashback.. I had a small surgery two days before my internship could start.. so what happens? well water works ! sobbing in front of daddy saying how will I do this.. what if it hurts me.. what if I faint .. what if.. well the cranky list continues.. My superman daddy :D haha he says Well hon don't worry come work with me.. il get you the certificate for internship.. hell il even do the project.. don't you cry.. don't you worry.. everything will be great all will be good.. lil me stops crying then..
Then comes internship day.. and.. it was difficult but I decided that I will try being more independent and try pushing myself rather than acting like a lil baby!
So I pick up the phone and call up my manager.. she says " okay you have to visit all the shops in Koregao PArk and report to me in the evening ! " I was like " huh ?.. wait what? you want me to go to Koregao Park which is 13 km away from my house? alone? and I don't even know the route? you.. actually want me to go there ?"
I obviously didn't say this.. what I said was.. " Okay Mam."... and then ? well return of the water works!!
So as usual I vented out to my bestie and she calmed me down.. I did the job and honestly it was great.. :) I had fun .. it was a new and beautiful place.. :)

Long story short.. If you also sometimes find yourself in such situations .. talk it out to someone.. family.. friends and go for it.. do something new.. push yourself.. check your limits :)

PS: daddys darling got the driver and car to take her to Koregao Park.. but hey.. I did have my own efforts too ;) haha


Laters darlings!

N

 

HOPE !

Tears in my eyes... while watching a movie!! SHOCKER !!(could be because of the chums.. just.. may be!) I normally don't cry while watching movies.. I infact pride myself in front of friends when they say they cried in this movie during this scene and id b like.. Blah " are you kidding me.. I laughed my ass off at that scene!"

so here i was watching this movie.. crying at the end scene.. a little about the movie.. its called. WE bought a Zoo..

the movie starts with this cute little family dealing with the loss of the mother and in turn wants a whole new change.. just wants NEW.. and in the process ends up buying a house... that has a ZOO attached to it!! pretty new huh !so through their unending problems of adjusting of moving on and reviving the zoo.. which if fails will probably kill all the animals or transfer them.. and through their journey of self discovery of patience of hope.. the triumph all the obstacles and help each other in moving on to a better place..
the main climax is the week following the opening of the zoo.. it starts raining!! it rains the whole week and at the day of the opening its all sunny and bright ..
everyone is happy.. standing all dressed in new uniforms all polished.. but.. no one come... but this little boy still believes.. he runs towards the entrance and finds this huge tree blocking the entrance and all the visitors stranded on the other side.. that scene.. where his belief didn't make him give up.. that made my eyes swell..

Aren't  life's hardships like those rainy days? where everything is dark ,cloudy.. but all i have to say is.. don't lose hope , don't give up, don't stop believing .. because just like that sunny day at the end of the rainy week.. just like all those people stranded at the other side of the entrance... the good side.. the side where your " happy ever after part lies.. its there its still waiting.. just pass through all those rainy days with hope for the best.. ( I am trying too ) its very difficult.. but push yourself :)











Lots of love
*N

 

the magical flower

Faded... losing all the light.. the flower lay there in her hand.. " the magical Flower " she referred it as.. something that made her believe.. something that gave her trust... now.. it just looked like a rotting old flower that had given up through the tough times
the storm the rains the sun.. the mud the ice.. it took all the love away.. the love that once gave the girl hope.. that gave her peace that gave her assurance .. it now just gave her pain..

Let go.. her friends said. let go, it wont do you any good to cling on something that has faded.. that has given up..
the magical flower had given up easy.. the light travelled far away without letting the girl say goodbye.. without her taking one last look at the flower that gave her magic.. she now just looks the flower.. a mere flower.. that dark black colours that have slowly come on her palms.. she tries to wash it off at the pond.. slips her hands in feeling the cold water piercing her senses.. creating ripples in the pond... and reminding her the way the flower gave up..
Its time she thinks.. she takes the flower... and lets it go.. lets it flow away.. in the pond.. looks at it till it finally settles at the ground... she clearly can see.. what it was.. and what it has become now.. she thinks to herself its time to let go on the "could haves " and focus on the present.. gently she walks away as a fairy takes her in her arms and asks her to fly and not look back at that flower.. she gives her hope that a flower doesn't define you.. cant change you...
its only you...


* N

            I need to vent.

            I’ve had a breakup. It’s not that big a deal. Except that it kinda is a big deal. The previous two sentences pretty much sum up how I’ve been feeling for the past two months.

            This has been my first major breakup. And I’m not kidding when I say ‘major’. The last time I was single, it was three days before my 16^th birthday. I’m going to be 22 in February. How’s that for perspective?

            The why doesn’t matter right now. The repercussions of this event matter. I’ve been in a very fluid state of mind these days. And that fluid also happens to be very volatile.

            My breakup has shifted a lot of priorities for me. Loving someone means you make them the centre of your universe. And now that universe feels decidedly off kilter. Decisions made that seemed best for the relationship then must be re-evaluated now, keeping only my benefit in mind. I always thought myself to be a one-and-done kind of girl; utterly convinced that there was just one perfect soul mate for everybody out there. Now I am not so sure anymore. Sometimes I catch myself thinking what foolish, childish notions I used to believe in before. I feel like every time I told someone that true love exists, it was nothing but hollow preaching. I’m not jaded towards others’ relationships, I just feel like I might have lost a part of myself that might be irreplaceable. I find myself wanting to hide behind the veil of sarcasm and humor and not let people see just how much I feel broken on the inside.

            Right now I could give you several valid reasons why the breakup was necessary. I can tell you rationally why I couldn’t be with my ex anymore. But then in the very next second, I just feel so miserable; willing to do anything just to exchange sweet nothings with him again. It’s like a simultaneous conversation in my head; the sappy emotional side wants to bawl when our song comes on while the rational side just wants to keep busy. I get an attack of ‘feels’ very randomly and sometimes without a trigger. I feel like I shouldn’t burden my friends with these random emotions that my hormones keep throwing me into; but I keep wishing someone would just read my mind and tell me how to navigate through this emotional bog.

            I’ve seen uncountable relationships fail. I’ve seen all of my friends go through those stages- denial, grief, anger, acceptance. I’ve consoled so many people through all the torrents of emotion. I know that such moods are prone to strike me; yet, even as I sob, one part of me wonders that if I saw it coming, why am I still bawling? Sometimes, a part of me knows that it’s unhealthy to just lie around and stuff my face with Snickers and cry over every single YouTube video that held any significance in my failed relationship, yet I feel like that rational part is telling me that’s alright to go on with it. It is just a passing stage.

            I wonder if anyone reading this actually understands the conversation happening inside my head. Sometimes I don’t understand it myself. I just want to be 100% sappiness-free. I don’t want to be assaulted with emotions without warning. I know the drill of a breakup by now, thanks to all my friends’ experiences; I want to bypass all the unnecessary mental trauma, is all. But then again, it seems like my own brain is telling me, the trauma is required, if I want to heal.

            Boy, you’d think being in the medical field, I’d have learnt by now how to shut off these feels. I guess not.

            (This isn’t the best of my work, I admit it. I just find it difficult to concisely explain what I am going through right now)

~I