Midnight, 27th of February
2013. I am a full twenty four hours away from turning 20. Not everyone makes a
big deal of turning a year older. 20 isn’t even considered such a major
landmark. More importance is given to turning 18 and 21 (25 must also be
included as a landmark in this sate as it marks the legal age for alcohol
consumption). But, my aunt had remarked casually a few days ago, “So! Last few
days as a teenager huh? Have you accomplished anything mad or bad? Anything
worthy of the title of ‘teenage recklessness’?” and that got me thinking.
Sure,
I might not win any awards for ‘Model Daughter’ or ‘Model Friend’ in these nine
years, but things could have been much worse. I have not yet tasted any
psychosis-inducing drugs or hallucinogens. I have never done any experimentation
with my sexual orientation. I have never touched tobacco. I have not yet had
the good (or is it bad?) fortune to set foot into a lounge or bar. My
relationships with boys (barring my boyfriend of course!) are strictly
platonic. I have never suffered from any eating disorders (people who know me
well and are reading this will laugh at the mere suggestion. Everyone knows
that food and I are in a long term monogamous relationship!) So by “normal”
parameters, I’ve had an excessively boring teenage with no thrills whatsoever.
Sleep
is evading me now on the eve of my birthday, so I’m just casting my mind back
over the years, trying to think how things were different when I was thirteen.
Turns
out, so much was different. I wasn’t taller than most of the boys I knew. My
hair was never allowed to grow beyond my ears. I had dental plates; followed by
braces. I barely listened to any English music. Makeup was prohibited. I had a
different set of friends. I used to watch Cartoon Network.
Look
at the scenario now. I’m an Amazon, towering over most family members and
acquaintances. I grew my hair for a long time but now it’s back to a short
style again. My long hard struggle with my teeth is finally behind me. English
music makes up a substantial portion of my playlist. I won’t be caught dead
without my signature kohl. So many friends have come and gone over the years.
Cartoon Network is a piece of shit these days. I’d surrender my brand new SKDY
headphones to the person who showed me proof that that miserable excuse of a
children’s channel is still being watched.
But
then again, as it turns out, some things have remained the same. I wanted to be
a vet then; I’m a second year student of veterinary science now. I used to love
watching InuYasha then; I’m addicted to Bleach now. Books have been my constant
companion. My best friend then is also my best friend now and I know we’ll be
best friends forever. I was a teacher’s pet then and (sigh) I am a teacher’s
pet now. I used to be an emotional wreck then; and even though I’ve managed to
get some semblance of control on the waterworks now, I’m still a pretty
emotional person.
Alas,
my teenage life has been devoid of anything ‘interesting’, but there have been
so many moments that will make it memorable. My last year of school. My two
years of junior college. Making new friends. Drawing up lists with friends- of
all the boys that we thought were ‘hot’; both real and not-so-real. Academic
and extracurricular achievements. The births of so many new cousin brothers and
(not so many!) sisters. The people (and animals too!) that enriched my life.
All the times I’ve bunked classes and had mad escapades with my friends. All
the times that I have sat for class, not paid any attention and made fun of the
teachers with my other back-bencher friends. Moments to be forever treasured-
sleepovers, camps, simple treats, picnics, hanging out with friends. The
sentimental fool that I am, I even preserve all the times I would chat in class
with my friends, because whenever I re read them, that rush of nostalgia is
unparalleled.
I’m
the kind of person who deliberates on the past, not the future. I’m a clinger,
and I like my shell. I don’t think that I have the courage to spread my wings
unless someone gives me a push. That’s why I’ve been taking a stroll down
memory lane. The only thing that reassures me is despite the fact that I’m
supposed to be a responsible adult now, I still laugh my guts out at internet
trolls and memes, anime boys still make me go weak in the knees, I’ll always be
tempted to have a good cry when things aren’t going my way and I can still be
the silliest of sillies with my friends around me.
Less
than 24 hours and I’m gonna be 20 years old. I suppose maybe I could go kiss a
girl. Or maybe I could get sloshed. Then again, maybe not. But, reassuringly, I’ll
always be the same ole me. Because, like they say, growing old is mandatory,
growing up is optional!
~Inquisitive I
